Now I have been working at my job for a while now and the most frustrating, unpredictable, repetitive job at my work requires me to call individuals on a daily basis…
The only part about it that I really look forward to is Pocket Gossip…
Define: Pocket Gossip
Pocket Gossip: When a Caller overhears a call they make when the Recipient of a Callers phone call is addressed specifically to the Recipient. For whatever reason, if the Recipient unknowingly answers the phone call being made to them and carries on for the next few minutes without realizing they are amidst a “live” phone call than it classifies as “Pocket, Gossip!”
Define: Jury Duty
Jury Duty: When a “live” call is answered or connected to you at work between you and another caller and there is an assault, murder, or violent crime in the back ground taking place that you can clearly identify and hear to become classified as a witness suspect to the case is recognized as a term within our company called “Jury Duty” because you have no choice but to report to court and deal with the legal systems and you can’t go to work for the duration of time the specific case takes because you must stand as a witness to provide information for evidence to clarify the case and to guide the legal systems to arrive to an appropriate verdict directly related to the incidence.
“Jury Duty” calls suck and they are god damn stressful. But the odds of you getting a call like a “Jury Duty” are like similar to winning the lottery. It may never happen… But if it does happen it is policy to report it immediately because if the police ever find out what you overheard without directly reporting the incident immediately after occurrence. Than you’re fucked… You can do some Fucking Time! That’s not something I would be willing to risk!
Anyways, there was this one dude from another one of our locations and he did some damn hard time in prison for not reporting that “Jury Duty” call shit… His wife was a babe apparently! I feel sorry for her… He probably got butt-fucked so hard in prison that it turned him gay…
I think I may come in first place this year…
“First in what?”
You’ll find out
…let’s just get onto my potential 1st place winning story and potential proud recipient of a 1 week vacation to the Dominican!
Read on for my story…
… I called a girl on my list about 3 months ago and after a few rings someone answered the phone with no response… Yet I could hear some background chatter going on…
“What’s that?” I wondered to myself. “Yesss!!!”
It was “Pocket Gossip!” Now this is something every employee looks forward too the most, each and every shift they will ever work while being employed under the helm of this company. This is the hot topic almost 24/7 amongst the office employees and employers. Awards are given out for the best “Pocket, Gossip!” every Year! Gift packages are also given out to the top 3 places in upwards of $4000 family getaways for the best
“Pocket, Gossip!”
… We take this Shit, Seriously OK! Notice how…
“Pocket, Gossip!”
…is now its own paragraph? Yes? Well that’s to elevate the importance of
“Pocket, Gossip!”
Ok! So I’ll stop doing that, now that you get the
“Point!”
I placed a lousy 4th out of our 220 locations, 1400 employees for “Pocket, Gossip!” last year. I was disappointed… I got fucking flowers… I work so hard for that one juicy situation. I was so keen on “Pocket, Gossip!” and I fucked it… But this year was different.
“Woohoo, Lucky Me!” I thought to myself.
I happened to come across a “Pocket, Gossip!”, from what sounded like a group of older girls, as they were chit chatting about the bar they went to the other night.
This is the moment I anticipate the most every shift I work!
The loudest voice and obvious owner of the phone said she blew this really hot dude a few nights ago in a stall at the ladies washroom, but she didn’t even remember what he looked like except for the fact that the guy had brown hair and he was tall and handsome. She mentioned that she wished she had gotten his number so they could hook up and fuck the shit out of each other that night!
“Dyamn that sounds like me!” I thought to myself as I reflected on my metrosexuality. With great anticipation, my brain almost fried itself thinking about all of the possibilities and epic stories I could draw from this.
This was it. My chance to follow up with this “Pocket, Gossip!” and become a legend… a hero to the company… No …
“A God”
I quickly hung up and scribbled down her number.
Exactly 60 minutes later, I texted her, not to be suspicious and brought up a nice drawn out conversation relating to the bar. I dirtied it up a bit right away though to get one indication across… Sex and only sex. She would be my bitch and I would get to fuck the shit out of her. The first line I dropped her harmonized the tone for the situation leading up to my epic “Pocket, Gossip!” story.
“Hey Bar-Star, I’m sure you can agree on one thing and that is the fact that girls Blow at everything… Not to mention the fact that you are pretty fine at Blowing me ;-) .”
The response I got almost made me vomit. I’m pretty sure she got the fucking point because that is the fastest I have ever experienced a girl sending a picture of her vag so quickly to me. At first glance and sheer surprise I almost puked. Only at first glance the picture she sent me looked like some half eaten soggy hamburger with drizzles of ketchup and mustard oozing out. I looked again and it was actually a nice fine toight vag! No idea how I got that first image in my head… But the mind can play fine tricks on you sometimes when you are caught off guard, especially in a situation like this. Anyways, Just like that, I had bagged myself an easy pussy. (Sorry for the language it is necessary for my epic “Pocket, Gossip!”story)
She was now under my control and I knew at that moment that I would have to accept this challenge and take home first prize this year at the “Pocket, Gossip!” awards no matter how graphic the story got. I had to fucking win! As I smooth talked her she sent me more photos of her babe-ass body. As retarded as this shit sounds, I had to role play, so I grabbed the nearest ruler on my desk set up, my phone camera and sent her a picture with ruler in hand and an angry determinant look on my face.
Captioned “I need to teach naughty girls like you a lesson.”
Long story short, I end up on her doorstep the next evening, nervous as shit, but ready to walk in and slap her face with my dick.
Her name is Lisha by the way.
Not Cool story. A dude answers the door. I almost freaked out and wondered what the fuck I had gotten myself into and who the fuck this was, however I decided to play it cool because I didn’t want to get fucked up. I figured this might be her brother anyways…
He asked me quizzically, “Hey, are you Rick?”
“Yeah” I replied, “who are you?”
He replied to me calmly, “I’m Dave, Lisha’s boyfriend, come on in.”
I was pretty fucking hesitant at this point because I didn’t see Lisha, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to get raped by this dude or straight up slaughtered… He was calmly hesitant too for being her boyfriend…
The world is a twisted fucking place sometimes, especially humans… The shit we do to one another leaves me speechless sometimes and my situation could have been that next “Breaking News” story for all I knew.
Suddenly, a soft voice called my name out in the background. It was Lisha and she was just coming down the stairs. I took a quick glance at her body and virtually high fived myself in my head. She was a babe. Her eyes were as blue as the sky and holy fuck her ass looked like a pornstars ass which was paired up with a nice rack to match. Giggedy giggedy!
To get to the point…
Epic Story: Lisha’s and her boyfriend are swingers, and he wants to film me fucking his girlfriend on camera.
Righteous Story: Lisha’s boyfriend does not get involved whilst us getting our freak on.
That blessed video is somewhere among the archives of a database that goes by the name YouPorn. You may never find my video on there, but for the most part, I had a mighty fine time that night and her boyfriend was cool with it. It’s not something I would be willing to do again, but hands down, I think I’m in the running for top prize this year, so I will definitely let you know how it pans out.
Anyways,
I’m out.. Long day ahead of me and more shit to come.
Rick
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